My Dad's Death and Funeral

Love leaves a heartache no one can heal,

love leaves a memory no one can steal.

- Irish Wisdom

This is a picture of my dad on my wedding day nearly 8 years ago, but this is how I like to remember him.

It's been just over a year and a half since my dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 prostate cancer, and early in the morning on April 10th, the cancer won and he passed away. Bev did a wonderful job caring for him until the very end. He was pretty sick most of the short 10 months they were married, and we are all so grateful for her and all that she did.

 

Since about mid-March, I knew this day was coming as his health started to rapidly decline. I'm just grateful that I live close enough that Nate, the kids, and I could say goodbye beforehand. Although it was hard to see him so weak and frail at the end - images I can never erase from my mind - I'm grateful I was able to have that opportunity.

 

I have a lot of mixed feelings about his passing away. We weren't very close because of his constant traveling for work and missing out on much of my life, but I have never in my life questioned that he loved me. He was always affectionate and said he loved me often. Even so, he lacked an ability to communicate well, and I felt like he never really knew me - a few facts yes but not much as far as my interests, likes and dislikes. But he is my father, and I love him  - flaws, quirks, and all.

 

Watching both of my parents suffer and then die from cancer was certainly not easy. Being a 33-year-old orphan is hard too. Most people my age have at least one and most of them both of their parents, and it's hard to not feel some jealousy. I hate that my husband and children don't know my mom and my children won't really know my dad either. Bridget is 6 and will have a few memories, but Felicity and Dayton won't have any.

 

The weather and funeral were perfect. Everything from the talks to the music was just as he would have liked even though he gave no instruction beforehand as to what he wanted. As Jill, Megan, Jessica, and I were singing our song accompanied by Emily, I couldn't help but think about how much my dad loved listening to and watching us perform. All the money my parents spent on various music lessons certainly did not go wasted.

 

Here's a few pictures from the funeral:

 



 

The cutest bunch of orphans you ever saw.

Our parents have a wonderful posterity and legacy to be proud of. We were all together with the exception of Amy and Stuart's 3 kids who stayed behind because of the huge expense to fly here from Maryland.

I'm so grateful for the plan of salvation and to be blessed with a strong testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know my parents are together again and will watch over each one of us from the other side of the veil. This is not the end, and I look forward to reuniting with them again someday.